What to say or do for a parent with an autistic kid

1.  Wow!  I’m impressed with your perseverance.

2.  Is there anything I can do to help.

3.  A great sense of humor goes a long way.

4.  Strawberries are on sale.  How about I bring you over a batch all washed and ready to go.

5.  Can I take your kids for a couple of hours so you can go relax (or shop without them).

6.  How do you do it all?

7.  Let’s turn on some great music and sing our hearts out.

8.  Do you feel comfortable talking about how autism affects your life?

9.  Can I bring you over dinner (cookies, dessert, snacks…)  Are there any dietary concerns I need to know?

10.  I can imagine you feel so alone.  I have two ears and only one mouth–let me know when I can listen.

11.  How about a coffee date on me?  We can even do McDonalds if it is easier to bring the kids along.

12.Would you please call me sometime when you are on overload.  I so want to help.

13.  It’s amazing that you homeschool in addition to all those appointments.

14.  Which therapies seem to work best for your child?

15.  Do you get enough respite?

16.  Want to take a day and freeze up some meals for those tough/busy days.  I’ll help you and it’ll be fun too!

17.  You are a blessing to me.

18.  You are doing such a great job!

19.  Send a note of encouragement  (you can even include a coffee/ice cream card)

20.  Let your words heal, not wound!

21.  Have you seen the posting about how much an autistic child can understand?  I’l help you find it to post to those who just  don’t get it.

22.  Your child is a blessing to me.

23.  Lets have some giggles and act out some of the dumb things people say to us.  Get ready to eye roll!

24.  Let me know whenever there is a fundraiser that supports autism research.  I want to be supportive.

And the best thing to say:

25.  We love you and your whole family!!

Hoping this IMproves your day,

Sally  Ellis




What Not to say to a parent!

50 Things You Should Not Say To An Autism Parent:

Autism is over diagnosed.
I’ve seen Rainman and Temple Grandin, I totally get it.
He must be really sad to run away so much.
Stop being so sensitive, they were only joking when they called her a (insert nasty hurtful name here).
He just needs to apply himself more.
My kid does that too.
Why do you let him carry that ______ around everywhere?
I can’t believe you let your child run around naked.
You need to make her eat more variety. It’s not that hard.
At least she can _____. (Talk, walk, smile, etc.)
It must be so nice to get special treatment everywhere.
Are you sure he has autism? He seems fine to me.
God knew you could handle this.
How dare your child not look at me when I’m talking to them!
He can talk, he just doesn’t want to.
If you knew she might meltdown why did you come here?
Teaching him is like training a dog. How hard could it be?
She can’t have autism; she looked me in the eye.
I have a miracle cure for autism to tell you about.
Disneyland would be much easier for you if you left him home with your mother.
It’s good your baby is a girl so she won’t have autism like her brothers.
There is nothing wrong with her. She is just quirky.
You just need to force her to sit through it, she’ll learn.
I gave up on him and stopped trying.
Have you tried what Jenny McCarthy did?
I can’t believe she isn’t potty trained already.
Why aren’t they doing ______ yet? Have you been working with them?
Isn’t she too old for a binkie?
He is so spoiled.
He can’t have autism, he is so smart.
If you had enough faith in god, his autism would go away.
She’s a girl, she can’t have autism.
Did you know ______ causes autism? (Pollution, food, shots, microwaves, inbreeding, mean moms, drug addicted moms, power plants, loud talking, too much TV, etc.)
Kids usually grow out of autism.
They don’t need therapy because you’re such a good therapist.
Good thing you’re done having kids. You wouldn’t want another one with autism.
How dare you drug your child!
But you’re so normal, how do you have a child with autism?
Does the mean she is really good at ______? (Math, art, music, etc.)
He just needs to be medicated.
He doesn’t have autism, he has discipline problems.
Could you please take your son out? He’s disturbing everyone.
The way your house is in lock down is absurd.
You should mortgage your home to try ________ therapy.
They are in a normal classroom? Is that ok?
You made up the autism diagnosis for attention.
Make her come give me a hug.
I can’t believe you won’t come to this crazy, busy, loud, sensory overload event. They would like it I promise.
Everyone has some form of autism.
Can’t you just control him?

Hoping this IMproves your day!


Sally Ellis



Graduating An LD Child? IMprove your options!

5 Ways to move beyond overwhelm.  A great article for parents of a graduating child who required an IEP.


Concerned about over diagnoses of ADHD?  I’m so glad IM naturally treats it.


Hoping this IMproves your day,

Sally Ellis www.imagineimprovement.com